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Bottoming Out

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Lessons get learned, mistakes get made/
tryin' to make up for the wasted days/
I wake to the sound of my racing heart/
take a pause/
locate the cuase/
just thinkin' about the night before/
remembered that movie Sliding Doors/
shouldn't be gettin' so high and so weak/
with so much I say that I'm fighting for/
maybe I am afraid to asnwer the call/
after all, with my back on the wall/
hamster wheels like teenagers out at the mall/
having a ball/
so sick of this life I yak in the stall/
flushing the past/
no intentions of coming on back/
and gettin' caught, stuck in the trap/
rubbed off the map/
thinkin' about what my homie told me/
watch who you hug & you dap/
never without my jigga-be-cool stick/
packin' numchucks in the sack/
trust nobody, haven't you heard/
one of those rules that had to get learned/
before some bamma has to get served/
and something tragic emerge/
love thy neighbor like thyself/
swallow your pride cuz you might need help/
you run the streets? or the streets run you?/
go read a book wit 'cha trifling self/
I'm taking a break, meeting my One/
to dine under the evening sun/
I need to recharge/ problems get large/
and I'm fresh out of reasons to run/

Who cares what they see in me/
I look to the sky like - set me free!!/
If not, I stop praying, so let me be/
every morning when I wake I gotta fiend the green/
I had the super bowl won, then I lost my team/
this is destiny - what you've done to me/
you done made me a G that'll fight for things/
but now I gotta see that I'll need shoes on her feet/
gotta put food on the table she can eat/
what in the world will she think of me/
cuz the things I did so she could be/
the only girl on the block with a destiny/
the only girl on the block with a daddy/
then wonder why I'm here, so she can see/
it's real unconditional love, it's true happy/
now I'm bottomed out, and this is your daddy/
the shell of a man that can hardly see/
streets in front of me, it's harder & harder/
trust me, I'm-a never leave/
and I'm-a struggle with air so you can breathe/
Mommy broke my heart, I'm so sorry/
my choice then, we would be married/
fought so much, it would be scary/
this is here, this is now, and I'm your daddy/
please bare with me/
life's hard for me/
I don't want you to see/
these horrible things/
that life can bring/
let me deal with these things/
so you can dream/
wait, stop, let me think/
ok, understand that I'm finally free/
this whole life, live mentally/
put it together with a strategy/
until check made, d-e-a-d/

The bills are late, and I'm unemployed/
saving is hard/
it's breakin' my heart/
and credit's no good no more, the store ain't takin' my card/
no way I'm-a starve/
it ain't just me myself and I/
thinking about my nephew's cries/
health of body, health of mind/
and so until the death we ride/
stressed because I let things fall apart/
but now I'm over the past/
knowing the path/
settin' a course for boot camp - my soldiers in class/
get ready for war, these inner demons/
never been more, I feel 'em breathing/
back of my neck/ tracking my steps/
hunting me like it's killing season/
out for the squish, won't give 'em a reason/|
I'm kicking and screaming to save my soul/
take control/
break the hold/
and get out before the cage is closed/
never too late to better your life/
but once, but measure it twice/
patience and discipline seperate king from the pawn/
men from the mice/
bottoming out, so hard to get up/
cuz just when you think that positive luck's/
coming around/
to buck up the frowns/
when smokin' ain't working to up any downs/
punch in the mouth, reality checks/
you start to wonder what tragedy's next/
to take your progress back a few steps/
and hope for the strength to handle the stress/

The rich get approved, the poor get denied/
public school - it barely supplied/
I died inside/ now roll deep, rarely divide/
credit cards - they ate me alive/
slippery snakes, slippity-slide/
wicked and sly/
interest rate - a dick in the eye/
pick 'em apart with venomous rhymes/
fine print indicates/
threacherous lies, then they/
expect you to rise/
when hypocrites already made sure you met your demise/
sever the ties/
clever and wise/
move aside/
and never despise/
weather the skies/
rain or shine, love and joy will enter my life/
to venture inside/
adventurous strides/
take me around the globe to fill the lobes in your mind/
hoping to find/
my chosen divine/
my slice of the pie/
leave a verse for y'all to recite/
after I die, will remain/
in your brain just to remind/
some to reflect, some to refine/
some to accept, some to decline/
my legacy will look for you/
never have to come to the shrine/
though my body's stuck in some pine/
think outside the box, just hovering high/
a lover of life/
a writer of strife/
ferocious rapper, tiger with stripes/