Lyrics

MR CONDUCTOR

George Carlin:
“…and remember, this is Mr Conductor talking.
I know what I’m talking about. I know what I’m talking about.”

VERSE 1:
I’m not married to the rap game, I’d happily leaver her/
she ain’t worth the nut I’m wiping off with this raggedy t-shirt/
I don’t need a mob of zombies full of bammas and b-words/
private fame like a dick pic… Anthony Weiner/
It’s Carlos Danger! better watch ya self!/
even though it’s been so long, I’m still hot to death/
so try not to get/
your bitch asses roasted/
I got social distance for your halitosis/
I was lost for a bit, then got back my focus/
and I can’t help your girl want me tappin’ both lips/
that’s some cold shit/
for Victor … freeze/
used to drop n-bombs, now it’s ninja please/
I punch lines like a kid who’s just having fun/
and Verbal Assassin #2 never had to pack a gun/
I pack bowls and Trojans, homie - wrap it up/
before you seek & destroy like Metallica/
is it rap? Is it rock? not a fan of labels/
let the wack dudes be wack dudes cuz that’s what they do/
kings and pawns … not every man is able/
to earn and deserve a seat at the table/
but they mommys told ‘em that they were special/
y’all make me laugh with/
that crazy bat shit/
never head of a G.O.A.T. who don’t train and practice/
gotta whoop that trick ’til you break the matress/
and the flow keeps comin’ if you know what I mean/
this global warming ass planet ain’t as cold as it seems/
and it’s a jungle out there until the cows come/
man - how blind, how deaf, and how dumb/
we do the same shit and then expect a fresh start/
expose your weakness, end up a Death Star/
even followers and likes won’t help you get far/
better think about the future Lieutenant Eckhardt/

HOOK:
It’s Mr Conductor, full steam ahead!
Choo-Choo! …can’t find my mind, I’m cuckoo/
better run… run… as fast as you can/
see - I know these tracks like the back of my hand/
It’s Mr Conductor, full seam ahead!
Choo-Choo! …can’t find my mind, I’m cuckoo/
better run… run… as fast as you can/
cuz if I catch yo’ ass - better cancel your plans/

VERSE 2:
You can’t bust the bubble of a bubble buster with no bubble to bust/
man - stop fuckin’ that up!/
I’m ‘bout to go next level bro - you coming, or what?/
you might never have a chance at gettin’ something you love/
so put the god damn phone down, we need you for real/
look at you playing with your dick, falling asleep at the wheel/
but it’s not the movies, and you ain’t Stephen Strange/
you’ll get rearranged/
and never be the same/
I’m a gorilla spittin’ bars man, wearing a long mane/
who’s smarter than Tarzan, who married the wrong Jane/
waddup Dr Goodall! …man - you’re something incredible/
having whisky in your honor while I’m munchin’ on edibles/
good look outs Bianca! where my stoners at?/
and quit staring at my dick! …take a photograph/
composing rhymes in my head on the jon when I sit/
see - I be droppin’ some shit while I be droppin’ a shit/
Mr Conductor is up to…/
…no good, so what’s the…/
use? get off the mic - you’ll never cut the mustard/
Michael Rapaport asked “Where the fuck is Hiphop?!!?”/
it’s called mumble-rap cuz they suckin’ big cocks/
their mouths are full, their brains not so much/
I’ve got bars to write, they’ve got cocks to suck/
we’re two different kinds/
of spit and shine/
you better squint your eyes/
before a big surprise/
spray your tattoo’d face like it’s quittin’ time/
your fuckin’ feminine asses are ill-equipped to rhyme/
you’ll get skinned alive/
and served with some fries/
extra salt in your wounds with a hint of lime/
fire bowls of bright green/
with bolts of lightning/
the past - let it go, like the Frozen ice queen/
and although I might be/
a little older slightly/
still sicker than the muthafuckin’ COVID-19/

HOOK:
It’s Mr Conductor, full steam ahead!
Choo-Choo! …can’t find my mind, I’m cuckoo/
better run… run… as fast as you can/
see - I know these tracks like the back of my hand/
It’s Mr Conductor, full seam ahead!
Choo-Choo! …can’t find my mind, I’m cuckoo/
better run… run… as fast as you can/
cuz if I catch yo’ ass - better cancel your plans/

BRIDGE:
Beep! Beep!
…who’s got the keys to my beat up old car? …c’mon/
I think I lost my phone/
I’ve got the wold’s information in my hands/
and I’m peepin’ all kinda THOTs on Instagram/
Beep! Beep!
…who’s got the keys to my beat up old car? …for real/
I found a dollar bill/
I found a dollar, I found a dollar, I found a dollar
hey! hey! hey! hey! hey!

HOOK:
It’s Mr Conductor, full steam ahead!
Choo-Choo! …can’t find my mind, I’m cuckoo/
better run… run… as fast as you can/
see - I know these tracks like the back of my hand/
It’s Mr Conductor, full seam ahead!
Choo-Choo! …can’t find my mind, I’m cuckoo/
better run… run… as fast as you can/
cuz if I catch yo’ ass - better cancel your plans/

END:
Inhale and blow/
you know/
you wanna…
inhale and blow/
one two … then pass to the left so I can
Inhale and blow/
you know/
you wanna…
inhale and blow/
one two … then pass to the left so I can
Inhale and blow…/